With right-wing mobs throwing Democrats off balance this week
by shouting them down at
town hall meetings across the nation, Republican leaders say they will begin screaming incoherently in other venues.
“From now on, we’re going to hoot and holler in Congress, in the state legislatures, on TV and radio shows, and even in the streets,” said RNC Chairman Michael Steele. “EEEEEEEAAAAAAGH!,” he added, waving his arms in the air.
Groups of right-wingers have disrupted recent efforts by Democratic Congressmen to explain their policies, particularly health-care reform legislation, by booing, heckling, and speaking in tongues.
“This is working great for us,” said Steele. “It disguises the fact that we have no program of our own and that our people aren’t really very well informed on the issues.”
He said Republican strategists are also looking into the possibility of banging gongs and popping blown-up paper bags.
Mandy Sullivan, a professional screaming coach hired by the party as a consultant, said she was tutoring Republican Congressional leaders to increase their volume and shrillness without harming their larynxes. “They are making great progress,” she said. “Most of them find they are greatly relieved at no longer having to strain to appear to make sense.”
Democrats have complained that the tactic is unfair and undemocratic but Republicans say it is exactly the kind of free speech the founding fathers intended. “Our volume shows our passion and anger,” said Rep. Thomas Laffley, a Republican from Wisconsin. “That is more genuinely American than the Democrats’ elitist policy of making substantive points in logical terms.”
Glenn Beck, the right-wing talk-show host who has been a major pioneer of incoherent screaming, commented, “
Obama’s a racist! I want to poison Nancy Pelosi! Take back America! The world is flat! My pants are green! Your head is on fire!” He then spun around several times, punched himself in the face and fell down.
More, as well as less, of Lewis Grossberger's writing can be found at True/Slant.
