Wireless Voice Calls are Obsolete

Sep 29, 10 | 10:20 AM   byScott Adams
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Is it just me, or have cellphones become useless for voice conversations? To be fair, cellphones do work in limited situations, such as: "I WILL BE THERE IN TEN MINUTES! TEN MINUTES! I SAID I WILL BE THERE IN TEN MINUTES! HELLO? CAN YOU HEAR ME? FUCK THIS STUPID PHONE, I'LL TEXT YOU! AND I'M DRIVING, SO I MIGHT BE DEAD IN TEN MINUTES!"

Generally speaking, a cellphone conversation is a frustrating failure if any of these conditions is true.

1. You have a weak signal.

2. You are using an earpiece or headset.

3. The other person has a weak signal.

4. The other person is using an earpiece or headset.

5. The other person has a cell phone (delay problem).

6. You are multitasking and can't think.

7. The other person is multitasking and can't think.

8. You are in a noisy environment, such as Earth.

9. The other person is in a noisy environment, such as Earth.

10.   You get another call you have to take.

11.   The other person gets another call he has to take.

12.   You have a dying battery.

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More of Scott Adams' blog posts, and the Dilbert™ comic strip, can be found at He can be emailed at
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