Why Isn't Julian Assange Dead? Surely the CIA should have killed him by now, Jonah Goldberg muses By Kevin Spak, Newser Staff Posted Oct 29, 2010 12:50 PM CDT 51 comments Comments You'd think the CIA would have taken this guy out by now. (AP Photo/Lennart Preiss) (Newser) – If the CIA is really as competent as everyone seems to believe, then “why wasn’t Julian Assange garroted in his hotel room years ago?” asks Jonah Goldberg in the National Review. WikiLeaks is, according to the military, a major national security problem. So whether spies are the nefarious killers seen in countless movies and liberal fantasies, or the “noble ninjas in London fog trench coats” that conservatives imagine, “Assange’s shrimp-on-the-barbie should have had Stronium-90 in it years” ago. Assange is still kicking because “the world isn’t nearly so dramatic as novelists, bloggers, self-important journalists and nostalgic former spies often claim it is,” Goldberg concludes. Indeed WikiLeaks’ files actually debunk many idiotic conspiracy theories—“No sinister plots involving Halliburton or Israel have been exposed, because they only existed in the fevered fantasies of coffee-shop dissidents.” Real spies aren’t like the ones on Rubicon. And in real life “assassinating a hipster Australian Web guru … is the kind of controversy no official dares invite."