Dumbest Questions to Butterball's Help Line
How to thaw your turkey while bathing your kids
By Kate Seamons, Newser Staff
Posted Nov 25, 2010 3:18 PM CST
Butterball frozen turkeys are seen on display at Heinen's grocery store in Bainbridge Twp., Ohio.   (AP Photo/Amy Sancetta, file)

(Newser) – Nervous about cooking the Thanksgiving bird? Don't be. Butterball employs more than 50 Turkey Talk-Line experts who are ready and waiting to answer your culinary questions. And don't be embarrassed: Your inquiry can't be as embarrassing as these previous ones to be phoned in to 1-800-BUTTERBALL, as reported by Reuters:

  • Can I thaw my turkey in my bathtub ... while I give my kids a bath?
  • Is it OK to brine my turkey ... in a washing machine?

  • Will I be able to speed up the cook time ... by using my oven's self-cleaning cycle?
  • Will my turkey taste oily ... if I cut it with my chainsaw?
  • Can I shorten the thawing time ... by putting it in my sauna?