Dumbest Questions to Butterball's Help Line How to thaw your turkey while bathing your kids By Kate Seamons, Newser Staff Posted Nov 25, 2010 3:18 PM CST 11 comments Comments Butterball frozen turkeys are seen on display at Heinen's grocery store in Bainbridge Twp., Ohio. (AP Photo/Amy Sancetta, file) (Newser) – Nervous about cooking the Thanksgiving bird? Don't be. Butterball employs more than 50 Turkey Talk-Line experts who are ready and waiting to answer your culinary questions. And don't be embarrassed: Your inquiry can't be as embarrassing as these previous ones to be phoned in to 1-800-BUTTERBALL, as reported by Reuters: Can I thaw my turkey in my bathtub ... while I give my kids a bath? Is it OK to brine my turkey ... in a washing machine? Will I be able to speed up the cook time ... by using my oven's self-cleaning cycle? Will my turkey taste oily ... if I cut it with my chainsaw? Can I shorten the thawing time ... by putting it in my sauna?