Australian Guy Marries His Dog
He assures wedding guests 'it's not sexual'
By Evann Gastaldo, Newser Staff
Posted Dec 2, 2010 10:51 AM CST
Would you marry this dog?   (©Teddy23901)

(Newser) – Arguably even weirder than the woman who married herself or the man who married his pillow: An Australian man has married his dog. Joseph Guiso wed Honey, a 5-year-old labrador, in Toowoomba this week, the Chronicle reports. Thirty friends and family members attended, and listened to vows (presumably only delivered by Guiso) including, "You’re my best friend and you make every part of my day better."

Guiso came up with the idea—and the location, a park—while on a walk through said park while a human couple was getting hitched. "I said that could be us," Guiso says. "She didn’t say anything so I took that as a yes." Guiso calls himself "religious" and claims he felt guilty living with Honey out of wedlock. Even so, he assured guests, "it's not sexual. It's just pure love." And yes, they are planning to honeymoon. Click here to read about five people who married inanimate objects.

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Mar 16, 2011 6:20 PM CDT
It should not matter to anyone if he is sexual with his dog or not. All life is sexual,and all life is nude, but vain humans want to demonize nudity,and whatever sex,and glorify war. That is backwards thinking. Deuteronomy 27,24:Cursed be he that smiteth his neighbour secretly. And all the people shall say, Amen. It is wrong to smite anyone. Teach others that it is wrong to smite a human. Will you do that? Do this and save your soul,1 Corinthians 11:31,King James Bible For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged. Then you will have a loving heart to see the loving heart,and not give guilt because Jesus will be in you that has no guilt in him to give.Then you will have righteous judgment. John 7:24King James Bible Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment. Be friends with the zoosexual,and not their enemy. God loves humans to make friends of even their enemy even as it is written:Proverbs 16:7When a man's ways please the LORD, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him. The Godly do not persecute ether:L2 Timothy 3:12,King James Bible Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.No one persecuting,and all will be godly. The marriage is showing humans how much he loves his dog in his way, but the traditions of man are meaningless to the non human animal who is vain unwillingly. Proverbs 11,9An hypocrite with his mouth destroyeth his neighbour: but through knowledge shall the just be delivered.
Arman Abbassi
Dec 4, 2010 4:23 PM CST
Dec 4, 2010 4:12 AM CST
"Man marries Earth in Rare Ceremony" On December 4, 2010, Danny Bloom married his longtime companion and love of his life -- Earth! The festive ceremony was an internet-enabled weddiing, online and in real time, in which the groom, 61, married his longtime companion and love of his life -- Earth! The festive ceremony was an internet-enabled weddiing, online and in real time, in which Bloom, a Boston native, recited previously keyed-in vows declaring that he would "love and cherish his beloved, Earth, -- 4,000,000,010 years old but still beautiful and comely in her white aura of cloud cover -- for the rest of his life or ''until death do him part.'' Bloom, who was never married previously, told news reporters lurking online that he was ''more than happy to have finally tied the knot with the one I love." An online justice of the peace officiated at the one of a kind ceremony. Earth, for her part, said: "We're soulmates now. We always were, but now it's on paper. I've married the man I created! I've married the world I love." Bloom asked that instead of gifts, guests and other interested parties donate funds to global warming awareness campaigns in their respective countries. After the wedding was over, symbolized by a long green fern wrapped around his balding head, Bloom kissed his bride one more time, saying to everyone within earshot: "Fly me to the moon! To Jupiter and Mars!. This is the most wonderful day of my life!" Earth, as beautiful as ever, added: "He always says things like that! For my part, today marks the beginning of a new conciousness among humans, and if our little private ceremony has been able to help raise awareness about the problems of global warming and climate change, then I am one happy planet!" VERBATIM COPY OF WEDDING VOWS FOR NEWS OUTLETS: Do you, Danny Bloom, take the Earth to be your cosmicly wedded wife? ("I do"). Do you promise to love, cherish and protect her, whether in good times or during human-caused global warming times of adversity, and to seek with her a life hallowed by the eons of time? ("I do") And do you Earth, take this eccentric blooming idiot, to be your cosmicly-wedded husband? ("I do"). Do you promise to love, cherish and protect him, whether in good fortune or in adversity, and like he said above, that stuff above global warming and climate change, and to seek with him a life hallowed by the eons of time? ("I do") I now pronounce you two lovebirds humankind and Earth. You may kiss the bride. You may embrace your husband.