Ruth Madoff Turned Away From Son's Memorial It was apparently her punishment for choosing Bernie over boys By Evann Gastaldo, Newser Staff Posted Feb 10, 2011 11:50 AM CST 15 comments Comments In this April 6, 2009 file photo, Ruth Madoff is escorted by private security as she leaves the Metropolitan Correctional Center after visiting her husband Bernard Madoff in New York. (AP Photo/Mary Altaffer) (Newser) – Ruth Madoff mourned alone after her son Mark committed suicide, sources tell People. She flew from Florida to Connecticut for the memorial service, but was turned away by Mark’s wife, the New York Post reports. A friend says Ruth’s sons wanted her to choose between them and disgraced husband Bernie when his Ponzi scheme was discovered, and she initially chose them—but later returned to Bernie’s side, and was subsequently out of their lives. "She told me, 'At night, it gets to me—the shame, the disgrace, all the stuff that killed Mark,’” the source tells People. "If Ruth were able to feel that pain, in the magnitude that it's actually there, I don't know that she wouldn't do what Mark wound up doing.” The magazine also reports that Ruth has been using her maiden name, Alpern, and has dyed her hair red.