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Hey, America: Stop Hugging Me

Do we really need to touch this much? asks Juliet Lapidos

By Matt Cantor, Newser Staff

Posted Mar 13, 2011 6:05 PM CDT

(Newser) – We’re facing a hugging epidemic in America: not only do we hug our friends constantly, we’re also expected to hug our friends’ girlfriends’ coworkers, writes Juliet Lapidos in Slate. Sure, there are times when hugs are called for: when the hugger is your boyfriend, or your mother, or when you haven’t seen someone in a very long time. But “why is it that when I go over to your house for dinner, you wrap your arms around me, even though I saw you last Friday?”

The problem is that “it’s such an awkward interaction. One arm or two? Should there be space between us? And for how long, exactly, should we be touching?” These “obligatory hugs mock true intimacy,” Lapidos notes. The hug “descended from the American ethos of hyper-friendliness,” like our first-name obsession, says an etiquette expert. But according to the website of authority Emily Post, they’re not a part of the standard greeting—unless you’re meeting “a relative or close friend.”

Hugs are happening way too often these days. (Shutterstock)

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COMMENTS

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Showing 3 of 32 comments

ddhartma

Mar 14, 2011 10:16 AM CDT

Sounds like someone needs a hug!

Amarra

Mar 14, 2011 6:32 AM CDT

If you don't want to hug people, don't hug them. If someone tries to hug you and you're not comfortable with it, politely tell them so. But don't try to tell the rest of us that we're living our lives wrong because we do choose to hug and be hugged. I wouldn't embrace a random stranger. I don't like being touched by people I don't know. And even if I know someone well, I would never try to touch them unless I know for sure that they'd welcome it. But if it's welcomed by both sides, if it makes people feel good and happy, how exactly is that unnatural? It's not hurting anybody, leave it alone.

Rembrandt_Q_Einstein

Mar 14, 2011 3:47 AM CDT

If I don't know you that well I'm not hugging you, simple as that. People who are all touchy-feely have always creeped me out. Some people, like me , just don't have the need to be touched all of the goddamned time as I have other ways to show affection or friendship to casual acquaintances.

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Hey, America: Stop Hugging Me

Do we really need to touch this much? asks Juliet Lapidos

OTHER STORIES ON OUR RADAR

hugging • etiquette • friendship • relationships

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Perhaps public displays of affection go too far

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