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Kate McCann: I Was Suicidal After Maddy's Kidnapping

New book reveals mother's shock, pain

By Evann Gastaldo,  Newser Staff

Posted May 9, 2011 10:09 AM CDT

(Newser) – In a new book, Kate McCann reveals that she felt suicidal after daughter Madeleine went missing in Portugal four years ago. "I had an overwhelming urge to swim out across the ocean, as hard and as fast as I could; to swim and swim and swim until I was so far out and so exhausted I could just allow the water to pull me under and relieve me of this torment," she writes. "I wasn't keeping that desire to myself, either. I was shouting it out to anyone who happened to be in the room."

"Somehow, inflicting physical pain on myself seemed to be the only possible way of escaping my internal pain," she continues. As for why she appeared to be so composed at the time, McCann explains that she was in shock, the Telegraph reports. "It's quite frightening when I see myself in those early days," she says. "To me I look incredibly fragile and confused and lost."

In this March 2007 file photo, released by the McCann family on May 4, 2007, British girl Madeleine McCann is seen in Liverpool, England.
In this March 2007 file photo, released by the McCann family on May 4, 2007, British girl Madeleine McCann is seen in Liverpool, England.   (AP Photo/McCann Family, HO)
Kate McCann, the mother of missing British girl Madeleine McCann, holds a picture of her daughter while talking to journalists Tuesday, Feb. 10 2010, outside a court in Lisbon.
Kate McCann, the mother of missing British girl Madeleine McCann, holds a picture of her daughter while talking to journalists Tuesday, Feb. 10 2010, outside a court in Lisbon.   (AP Photo/Francisco Seco)
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COMMENTS
Showing 3 of 4 comments
LordFool666
May 9, 2011 2:56 PM CDT
Newser, PLEASE ax the 'hilarious' box.
crocodile
May 9, 2011 12:51 PM CDT
at minimum an item like this needs to state the what happened with the girl, whether she was found, killed, still missing, etc.
rainingmeatballs
May 9, 2011 11:59 AM CDT
wouldn't anyone feel like that in a similar situation???

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