Tickets to Oprah’s farewell spectacular were pretty hard to come by—so one Canadian man beat himself up in an attempt to score some. Robert Spearing, 44, told police that two men beat him up and stole his tickets to Tuesday’s show. But he later admitted that he’d actually used a rock to cut his own forehead and scraped his hands on the sidewalk, NBC Chicago reports. Spearing and his wife had come from Ontario without tickets, and he told cops he didn’t want his wife to be angry with him.
Instead of seeing Oprah, he was charged with one count of felony disorderly conduct for filing a false police report and spent a night in jail, Chicago Breaking News reports. Click to see what he would have experienced had he scored tickets.