Stewart: Who Cares If 9/11 Caused the Cancer?
Umm, so the law covers carpal tunnel syndrome ... but not cancer?
By Kevin Spak,  Newser Staff
Posted Jul 29, 2011 8:18 AM CDT

(Newser) – Jon Stewart hasn’t been shy about advocating for the 9/11 first responders health care law. So you can imagine he was just a bit peeved when he discovered that it doesn’t cover cancer. In a Daily Show segment last night entitled "I Thought We Already Took Care of This S@#t," Stewart rails against the loophole. “How did we not include cancer?!” he asked, mocking the idea that Washington needed to prove a link between 9/11 and cancer before dishing out benefits.

"Clearly you spent a heroic amount of time sifting through a smoldering smorgasbord of carcinogens," Stewart said in his best goofy bureaucrat voice. "But how do I know your cancer isn’t from dental X-rays and red M&Ms?" Why, Stewart asks, should we care what caused their cancer? Don’t these guys deserve our help regardless? "If you’re someone who spent time on the pile, I don’t care if you ate 200 Sweet & Low packets a day, sprinkled on your favorite cereal, Tumor-Os, while wearing a cellphone suit and smoking Chernobyl Lights unfiltered," Stewart cried. "You get cancer, we cover it!"
 

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