Jon Stewart Assembles the Super Committee

It's 'America's own legion of doofs': Jon Stewart
By Evann Gastaldo,  Newser Staff
Posted Aug 4, 2011 9:05 AM CDT

(Newser) – Imagine Jon Stewart's dismay when he discovered that after months of drama, the debt deal only shaved our deficit from $28.8 trillion to $26.3 trillion at the end of a decade. "That's what this whole f***ing thing was about?" he asked last night. Removing "one paper-thin chocolate shaving from our Dairy Queen Gut-Buster Sundae of Debt? Who will save us now?" Answer: The "Super Committee" of 12 deficit-busting Congress members, of course!

"Yes! Our prayers are answered! America's own legion of doofs," Stewart continued. But what heroes will come forward to join such an elite team? Probably Harry Reid, AKA "The Senator Drone: He'll talk to you about things. For a long time," Stewart predicted. And of course there's Jon Kyl, "The Trickler: His golden stream of protection shields the rich." But, Stewart wondered, "can even the Super Committee save Congress from Congress' arch-enemy ... the American people?"

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