Kutcher Replaces Sheen as Best-Paid Sitcom Star

Critics not gushing, but they're mostly pleased with premiere

(NEWSER) - Charlie Sheen’s character “exploded like a balloon full of meat,” another character explained last night as Two and a Half Men premiered and finally killed him off. Meanwhile, Ashton Kutcher also debuted as Walden Schmidt. What the critics are saying:

• Turns out Schmidt is “sweet, unsarcastic but—here we stay true to the show's gawping bawdiness—possessed of an astounding anatomical endowment that he soon puts to use,” writes Tom Gliatto in People . “The instant verdict: Kutcher was not at all bad. He was quite likable."
• “Fear not,” fans, declares Fox News . “Even without Charlie Sheen, your favorite show isn’t changing much." Like Sheen’s character, Schmidt is a womanizer—albeit an accidental one—and “the show’s producers barely changed gears. … With Kutcher loosely playing himself as a savant ladies’ man, it’s likely that Charlie Harper—or Sheen—won’t be missed."

His firing from Two and a Half Men costing producers a bundle

(NEWSER) - Who's crazy now? Charlie Sheen is hammering out a settlement with Warner Bros. for his firing from Two and a Half Men amounting to $25 million, TMZ and the Los Angeles Times are reporting. The whacked-out actor filed a $100 million lawsuit for wrongful termination against Warner Bros. when he was axed from the program after his public battles with substance abuse and tirades against the studio and the program's producer. More»

And more things to expect from the two-part season premiere...

(NEWSER) - There were already rumors that Charlie Sheen's Two and a Half Men character would be killed off , and now Deadline confirms it. Production begins on the ninth season next week, and the website reports that the two-part season premiere will feature the funeral for Sheen's character, Charlie Harper, which will be attended by nearly all of Harper's ex-girlfriends. Harper's Malibu beach house, where the three main characters have lived, will be put up for sale—and that's where new star Ashton Kutcher comes in. More»

Mostly because it features other, less attractive, nude people

(NEWSER) - Ashton Kutcher's new Two and a Half Men promo poster is out, and it's a doozy (click to see it ). It features a maybe-naked Kutcher alongside similarly un-clothed co-stars Jon Cryer and Angus T. Jones. Reactions:

• "Hands up right now: Which red-blooded American women out there never ever want to see Jon Cryer naked? How about his young Two and a Half Men costar, Angus T. Jones?" writes TL Stanley in AdWeek . "No. I repeat, NO."
• "The human body is a beautiful thing, and it should be noted that oftentimes Ashton Kutcher's human body is a very beautiful thing," writes Richard Lawson on Gawker . "But that does not mean I want to see him standing next to the naked cadavers of Angus T. Beefburger (or whatever) and Jon Cryer. ... I just do not like CBS doing a terrible gross poster for its terrible gross show."

It all goes down Sept. 19

(NEWSER) - Well, this is sure to be some combination of awkward and hilarious: Charlie Sheen will subject himself to a Comedy Central Roast. “You could say I've been providing kindling for this Roast for a while. It's time to light it up. It's going to be epic," predicts Sheen in the press release. Even better: New York reports that the skewering will air Sept. 19, which happens to be the same night Ashton Kutcher makes his debut on Two and a Half Men. More»