An 86-Year-Old Survived This

Moises Zambrana was showing gun to Hannah Kelley's boyfriend

(NEWSER) - A Florida pastor's daughter is in critical condition after being accidentally shot in the head after church services yesterday. Church member Moises Zambrana was showing a 9mm handgun to two other men in a closet (ostensibly for safety?) at Grace Connection Church. But it accidentally went off as Zambrana attempted to demonstrate ... the safety features. The bullet went through a wall and hit Hannah Kelley, 20, in the head, WTSP reports. More»

...25 years after she swallowed it

(NEWSER) - So that's where it went. When a 76-year-old complained of digestive problems, doctors in Britain X-rayed her stomach—and found a pen. When they asked the patient about it, she thought back 25 years and recalled the incident: She'd been using a pen to investigate her tonsils in the mirror when she fell over and swallowed it. At the time, her doctor didn't believe her, the Daily Mail reports. More»

They fear their Bernese Mountain dog was snatched

(NEWSER) - A Canadian couple, desperate to reclaim their missing dog, has offered an unusual reward: They'll name their soon-to-be-born first child after whoever finds her. Sara and Dan Cannon's 16-month-old Bernese Mountain dog disappeared from their backyard on Jan. 4, reports the New York Daily News. Fearful that someone might have taken her (they noticed an odd white van on their street that night), they've upped the ante by padding their $500 reward with the naming offer. The Cannons don't know the sex of the child yet—but don't expect a daughter named Stuart. More»

Also, no short skirts, flashy accessories, and keep that gray hair

(NEWSER) - Swiss bank UBS AG really, really cares how its retail banking staff looks. Details from its new 43-page dress code, part of a campaign meant to re-establish confidence in the brand, via the Wall Street Journal :

• Colors: Dark gray, black, and navy blue “symbolize competence, formalism, and sobriety.”
• Makeup: “Light makeup consisting of foundation, mascara and discreet lipstick ... will enhance your personality,” but no black nail polish, please.
• Underwear: Yes, the bank even has a section on this … it recommends high-quality, easily washable, but of course undetectable undies.

He has no idea how it got there

(NEWSER) - How's this for car troubles: A Massachusetts man found a four-foot-long boa constrictor curled around the engine of his car. Neighbors reported seeing the snake under a car yesterday afternoon, My Fox Boston explains. When police investigated, they found the snake clutching the engine for warmth; it took 30 minutes to get it to let go. There's still no word on where the snake came from. More»