Thumbs of Fury at the National Texting Competition

If you're over 20, you're already doomed, says intrepid Wired reporter Neil Janowitz of his attempt to compete in the National Texting Championship. Three hundred entrants competed for $25K in New York City, and the 21-year-old reigning West Coast champ was eventually defeated by newer blood—a 13-year-old.

Eli Tirosh was defeated when she tried to text the first lines of "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" from Mary Poppins. She finished first, but made a minor misspelling. Her youthful competitor pulled it off perfectly. The author of the article himself was outmatched in the first round. (More National Texting Championship stories.)