Why dress up as a maid or a construction worker when you can instead construct a Halloween costume that’s relevant to our times? Time offers up a list of ideas, complete with instructions:
- Pregnant Beyonce: Grab yourself a fake baby bump (unless, of course, you’re already pregnant) and a brightly-colored unitard like she wears in her “Countdown” video, then “place both hands on the bump and grin radiantly.”
- A GOP presidential candidate: You can choose any, but the Michele Bachmann costume is particularly simple: Just fashion a mask from her infamous Newsweek cover, then “walk around overly wide-eyed, like you just drank a coffeemaker.”
- Kate Middleton: Surely you can find knockoffs of her engagement ring and her wedding dress, then recruit a close friend or family member to act as your Pippa.
- Charlie Sheen: Stick a cigarette between your lips and say “winning” a lot and you’ve basically got Sheen nailed—but you’ll have to find two women to accompany you dressed as your “goddesses,” of course. All three of you will also need “self-destructive attitudes.”
- Harold Camping: A stiff brown suit, shirt, and tie are important, but arguably your most important prop is a sign reading, “Judgment Day: May 21, 2011.” Then "cross out May 21, write in Oct. 21"... and then another date?
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, or if you’d rather not celebrate Halloween, check out an alternative