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A 7-Step Guide to Ruining Your Life

First, make sure you develop no marketable skills: Walter Russell Mead

By Evann Gastaldo,  Newser Staff

Posted Dec 8, 2011 12:31 PM CST | Updated Dec 11, 2011 7:00 PM CST

(Newser) – If you want to emerge from college "with massive debt loads, major attitude problems, and no marketable skills," Walter Russell Mead has a 7-step plan that's sure to work. Disgusted with a recent Boston Globe column about "awesome" college courses (among them: "The Culture of Burlesque," "Puppetry," and "Surfing and American Culture"), Meade explains on the American Interest that these are the vapid, "glittering fripperies" American students are going tens of thousands of dollars into debt for, though all it will lead to is a life of misery. Highlights of his plan to ruin your life:

  • No. 1: "Enroll in a college that you cannot afford, and rely on large student loans to make up the difference."
  • No. 2: Take a lot of those aforementioned "awesome" classes, and of course, have a great time.
  • No. 3: "Develop an attitude of enlightened contempt for ordinary American middle class life, the world of business, and such bourgeois virtues as self-reliance, thrift, accountability, and self-discipline."
  • No. 6: "When you graduate and discover that you have to repay the loans and cannot get a job that pays enough to live comfortably while servicing your debts, be surprised. Blame society."
If you are determined to "make yourself miserably unhappy in your twenties," by all means, read the rest of Mead's list.

Perhaps the Occupy Wall Street protesters followed Mead's plan?
Perhaps the Occupy Wall Street protesters followed Mead's plan?   (AP Photo/Mary Altaffer)
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COMMENTS
Showing 3 of 104 comments
gzuckier
Dec 12, 2011 7:01 PM CST
I'm going to play devil's avocado here.  College/university was never meant to be voc-ed training. Universities used to train "philosophers", literally lovers of wisdom, in various fields of knowledge in the arts and sciences; getting an MBA in tax-efficient investment strategy not included. Learning a marketable skill or trade is really  still done today the way it's been done since Alley Oop first showed his kids how to bang two rocks together; via  apprenticeship, (de facto or explicit). As far as career/job purposes, the value of a college education, grad school even more, is that it shows what happens if you give the subject a large multiphasic task to complete over a long period of time. Anyone can easily spend an enormous amount of work studying any damn thing, and if they're smart enough and diligent enough, they will find something interesting; look at the scholars of the Middle Ages, or the serious theologians of any of the major religions today; while others can also easily blow 4 years studying a "useful subject", and come out knowing absolutely nothing. Obviously it all depends on the quality of the school, the instructor, and the student. Probably, mostly the student. That's the true value of a degree from a "good school"; you're not necessarily any better educated for the job, but since most businesses haven't got a clue how to evaluate job candidates, at least they can see that a reliable organization which does actually evaluate candidates' ability gave you a stamp of approval just to get in, and if you've graduated then you probably haven't done anything much to overturn that judgement since then. Meanwhile, we live in a world where fourth graders in public schools know what Venn diagrams are and eleventh graders in public schools (and not in advanced math!) are studying matrix algebra, while at the same time, you can't get a job managing a coffee shop without a college degree.
gzuckier
Dec 12, 2011 6:29 PM CST
"the world of business, and such bourgeois virtues as self-reliance, thrift, accountability, and self-discipline."" by "and", did you mean "or"?
Uefiguy
Dec 11, 2011 10:44 PM CST
Knowledge has value, in of itself, whether or not it comes with a higher salary.  Obviously going into debt for classes you cannot afford is ridiculous; yet, believing that knowledge is only as valuable as its market value does everything outside of engineering and business-school a disservice.   When you consider the ridiculous trivialities Americans spend money on, we should be happy that someone would spend money on knowledge, regardless of how insignificant it may seem.  
 

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