A 7-Step Guide to Ruining Your Life

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I'm going to play devil's avocado here.  College/university was never meant to be voc-ed training. Universities used to train "philosophers", literally lovers of wisdom, in various fields of knowledge in the arts and sciences; getting an MBA in tax-efficient investment strategy not included. Learning a marketable skill or trade is really  still done today the way it's been done since Alley Oop first showed his kids how to bang two rocks together; via  apprenticeship, (de facto or explicit). As far as career/job purposes, the value of a college education, grad school even more, is that it shows what happens if you give the subject a large multiphasic task to complete over a long period of time. Anyone can easily spend an enormous amount of work studying any damn thing, and if they're smart enough and diligent enough, they will find something interesting; look at the scholars of the Middle Ages, or the serious theologians of any of the major religions today; while others can also easily blow 4 years studying a "useful subject", and come out knowing absolutely nothing. Obviously it all depends on the quality of the school, the instructor, and the student. Probably, mostly the student. That's the true value of a degree from a "good school"; you're not necessarily any better educated for the job, but since most businesses haven't got a clue how to evaluate job candidates, at least they can see that a reliable organization which does actually evaluate candidates' ability gave you a stamp of approval just to get in, and if you've graduated then you probably haven't done anything much to overturn that judgement since then. Meanwhile, we live in a world where fourth graders in public schools know what Venn diagrams are and eleventh graders in public schools (and not in advanced math!) are studying matrix algebra, while at the same time, you can't get a job managing a coffee shop without a college degree.

"the world of business, and such bourgeois virtues as self-reliance, thrift, accountability, and self-discipline."" by "and", did you mean "or"?

Knowledge has value, in of itself, whether or not it comes with a higher salary.  Obviously going into debt for classes you cannot afford is ridiculous; yet, believing that knowledge is only as valuable as its market value does everything outside of engineering and business-school a disservice.   When you consider the ridiculous trivialities Americans spend money on, we should be happy that someone would spend money on knowledge, regardless of how insignificant it may seem.