Arlen Specter Does Stand-Up

Yes, really

By Kevin Spak,  Newser Staff

Posted Dec 28, 2011 12:07 PM CST

(Newser) – Arlen Specter has a new gig, and to hear him tell it, it’s a logical progression from his old one. “I’ve been in comedy now for 30 years,” he told the audience at the Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia. “It’s sit-down comedy.” Yes, believe it or not, the former senator tried his hand at stand-up comedy last night, the Philadelphia Inquirer reports, and it actually went pretty well—even if some of the jokes were recycled from a 2007 Washington comedy competition.

Here are a smattering of his jokes, courtesy of this video, and this write-up:

  • On Bill Clinton: “I called Clinton up on his 65th birthday, and I said, ‘Bill, congratulations on being 65, how do you feel?’ He said, ‘Arlen, I feel like a teenager. The problem is I can’t find one.’”
  • On Ed Rendell: He described the ex-governor as a “man about town” who bragged that “I have sex almost every night. I almost have sex on Monday, I almost have sex on Tuesday…”
  • On Chris Christie: He was upset that the recent hurricane “destroyed his entire library—both books. And he wasn't finished coloring them."
  • On Newt Gingrich: Specter says he was once on a train with Gingrich, a minister and a waitress when a waitress asked what they wanted to drink. "The minister said … 'Drinking is a sin. I would commit adultery first.' … Gingrich jumped up and said, 'Wait, wait, I didn't know that was one of the choices.' "

Arlen Specter is seen in this screenshot from a Philadelphia Inquirer video of his set.
Arlen Specter is seen in this screenshot from a Philadelphia Inquirer video of his set.   (Philadelphia Inquirer/David Swanson)
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