Bill Maher’s Rules for 2012
Funnyman pokes GOP in New Year's message
By Rob Quinn, Newser Staff
Posted Jan 1, 2012 5:48 AM CST
"Jon Huntsman must get a sex change. The only way he’s going to get any press coverage is by turning into a white woman and disappearing," Maher says.   (Getty Images)

(Newser) – Funnyman Bill Maher says he's still trying to finish off his New Year's resolutions from 1975, but he's got some rules the rest of America should follow in 2012—including one for Republicans. If you liked Donald Trump, and then proceeded to like Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, Herman Cain, and Newt Gingrich, "you can still hate Mitt Romney, but you can’t say it’s because he’s always changing his mind," he writes in the New York Times.

Another Maher rule calls for a schedule change to stop the presidential election and Summer Olympics happening in the same year. "I get so exhausted watching those robotic, emotionally stunted, artificial-looking creatures with no real lives striving to do the one thing they’re trained to do that I barely have energy left to watch the Olympics," he quips. To solve America's problems, Maher decides, the country should be required to declare war on itself. "We have no money, and all our soldiers have come home from Iraq and they’ve all got experience building infrastructure, and no jobs."

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Showing 3 of 78 comments
JamaicaJim
Jan 4, 2012 4:14 PM CST
"Funnyman"? Not. If he wanted to be funny, where were the Charlie Rangel jokes? The Demodumbs have JUST as many idiots as the Republdorks do. Maher is shovel nosed, nasely sounding uber-douche that is as funny as a scorching case of hemorrhoids. Stick to jokes Billy. The true comedians go after BOTH sides. Your a poor excuse for Mark Russell, and he was funnier.
tap
Jan 1, 2012 10:40 PM CST
Sad when you have to resort to politics to try boosting your career. Much like NOFX used to spew out their political thoughts in concert to gather popularity amongst young people too dumb to know better.
jamescar
Jan 1, 2012 10:10 PM CST
Bill Maher is funny. if you don't like him it means your not smart enough to understand him. Sorry!