Colbert Ends Fake White House Bid
And gets betrayed by Jon Stewart
By Kevin Spak, Newser User
Posted Jan 24, 2012 9:52 AM CST
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(Newser) – Stephen Colbert was proud of the 1% of the vote proxy Herman Cain earned in the South Carolina primary—"Eat it 'others' and 'statistical anomalies!" he declared triumphantly on last night's Colbert Report. "We made it to integers!" But it wasn't enough to keep him in the race. "It is with a heavy heart and a spastic colon that I am re-suspending Herman Cain's suspended campaign," he announced.

"Also, I am hereby ending my exploratory committee to run for President of the United States of South Carolina." What's next for Colbert? "Maybe I'll be like Herman Cain and hit the road in a bus with my face on it," he mused. After all, he should have a bunch of super PAC money to blow now that he's no longer running, right? Wrong. Jon Stewart double-crossed his pal, flying off with the super PAC dough in a poorly animated Zeppelin.

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Showing 3 of 5 comments
Fatquah
Jan 24, 2012 10:06 PM CST
Obama pulled the little Colbert puppet's string and the little Colbert puppet did as instructed.
LarryE
Jan 24, 2012 8:35 PM CST
Jeez, how much of this tiresome krap can we stand? Colbert pulls down the lever on his "Mock-Serious Political Satire Generator," and another piece of tedious, leaden shtick flops out. And he flings it at us. "Colbert Ends Fake White House Bid" = "Borat lays character to rest" = "Fonzie jumps Moby Dick." Give it a rest, already Colbert. FOR THE LOVE OF HEAVEN, DESIST AND GO AWAY! We the great American public are begging you!
LoginsSuck
Jan 24, 2012 11:34 AM CST
Well at least Stewart waited untill he dropped out to run off with the money. I wonder who the super PAC is going to really spend the money on.