New York's new restaurant, Joanne, gets a scathing review in the Post by restaurant critic Steve Cuozzo, a fact about which few would probably care ... except that the restaurant in question is owned by Lady Gaga's parents, Joseph and Cynthia Germanotta. In his amusing critique, Cuozzo starts off by noting that the restaurant appeared to be "running mainly on acrid-smelling burnt vinegar wafting intermittently through the raucous dining room." As for the celebrity chef running the debacle, "I felt sorry for Art Smith, the fine chef who somehow hooked up with Lady Gaga’s parents," Cuozzo muses.
Cuozzo goes on to note that the Italian trattoria is "cramped" and "loud as an avalanche," the busboys are "clueless," and the appetizers didn't arrive for nearly an hour. "Grilled calamari with bitter greens and radicchio were the worst I’ve had in a lifetime of squid-mongering, the salad unseasoned and the calamari like leather," and it just gets worse from there. One dish "recalled the flaccid pasta commonly doled out along Long Island’s Jericho Turnpike—or at 35,000 feet," while the veal osso bucco was "unspeakably fatty." Worse, Gaga was, of course, nowhere in sight. (Read more Lady Gaga stories.)