Paris Hilton Single Hurts the World's Collective Ear

It's tough to expect much from Paris Hilton in the musical arena, but it seems the Internet didn't expect something quite this awful: A spoken-word techno song (that's right) whose first line is "I went out the other night, to, you know, dance with my bitches." The lines that follow in "Drunk Text" are just as bad. Sample: "If you take the word 'sex' and mix it with 'texting,' it's called 'sexting.'" OK, OK, we'll stop. You can listen to the horror for yourself here, or enjoy some of the tastiest slams of the song the Internet has to offer.

• "The song sounds like a B-side of a B-side of a B-side of an early '90s Madonna single." Times Live
• "Paris Hilton commits audio treason with 'Drunk Text'" Los Angeles Times headline
• "Remember 'Stars are Blind'? It turns out they're also often tone deaf, and so Hilton has done us all a favor (of sorts) and recorded what is essentially a spoken word song." Gawker
• "This latest venture might be demonstrative of how she's not dealing with aging that well, as she seems to prefer that people think she's a vapid idiot than 'old.'" Jezebel on Hilton, age 31
• Still, "it’s mesmerizing too—in a Rebecca Black 'Friday' way." Mashable

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