Colbert Extremely Disturbed About Sanitizer-Swilling Kids

Stephen Colbert is very, very upset about the new trend of teens getting drunk on hand sanitizer—especially since it was based on one Los Angeles Times article involving a whopping six kids. “I want to send a very strong message to these LA teens,” Colbert said last night. “What the hell are you doing? You live in California, for Christ’s sake. Have you never heard of medical marijuana?”

And Colbert also has a common-sense tip for parents, inspired by Good Morning America: Place unused sanitizer “out of reach, somewhere up high, where a teenager can’t reach it. Just use one of those adult-only stepladders.” Then buy something safer with which to clean your hands, like vodka. (More The Colbert Report stories.)