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Screw 'Fascist' iPods, Get Vinyl

Author of 'Go the [bleep] to Sleep' says analog is still king

By Kevin Spak,  Newser Staff

Posted Jun 13, 2012 12:07 PM CDT

(Newser) – Some things have never been improved upon, and if you ask Adam Mansbach (author of the hit book Go the Fuck to Sleep) one of them is the vinyl record. "Vinyl is democratic, as surely as the iPod is fascist," Mansbach declares in Salon. "Vinyl spins like the Earth on its axis, the planets around the sun, the hands of a clock. Unspools like time itself. Our ability to control it symbolizes a power greater than any we have over our own lives."

A skilled DJ, armed with vinyl "can alchemize the incidental into the infinite." It's easy to spot one who was trained with an iPod full of 50,000 songs. "You can spot him because he sucks. His sets lack logic and flavor, conviction and shape." Vinyl forces you to tangibly interact with music. It "occupies physical space honestly, proud as a fat woman dancing," unlike the songs goose-stepping in single file on your iPod. "Trust me," Mansbach says, "There is a reason digital rhymes with douchenozzle." Click for Mansbach's full column.

'The studious observer can drop the needle on the drum break with the precision of a surgeon making an incision.' - Adam Mansbach
'The studious observer can drop the needle on the drum break with the precision of a surgeon making an incision.' - Adam Mansbach   (Shutterstock)
  (Shutterstock)
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Remember how before we all had cellphones, we’d make plans and stick to them, and this lent a certain structure to our lives? No? How old are you, anyway? - Adam Mansbach

To put all this rhapsodic shit in simpler terms, what would you rather leave your kids when you die? A roomful of records, or a Pandora station? - Adam Mansbach

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COMMENTS
Showing 3 of 41 comments
lvan
Jun 14, 2012 5:25 AM CDT
There are certainly a correlation between shitty DJ and presence of Mac in a DJ booth. With current hard drive sizes, any self respecting DJ wouldn't go near mp3s or worse mp4s. It's a dirty, stinky format. Waves are so much better and yes, old school analog can sound magical in right hands.
Emmanuel_Goldstein
Jun 13, 2012 8:38 PM CDT
Yes, those clicks, ticks, pops, warping and groove skippings are to die for.  Imbecile.
Nwambe
Jun 13, 2012 8:11 PM CDT
"Trust me". Yeah, actually, I do. If anyone knows what 'douchenozzle' sounds like, this guy'd be it. What an egotistical elitist snob. As long as people listen to and appreciate music, wtf cares what you think. 
 

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