Stewart: Romney's Misusing His Time Machine
Also, why does Mitt's horse get to go to prom?
By Kevin Spak, Newser User
Posted Jul 17, 2012 8:11 AM CDT
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(Newser) – Jon Stewart joined the chorus mocking Mitt Romney's "retroactive retirement" on last night's Daily Show. "I'm not saying that if you have a time machine you necessarily have to kill Hitler," he quipped, "But this retroactive retirement is the worst use of a time machine I have ever seen." He also noted with amusement that Bain Capital almost shares a name with Batman's latest nemesis. "Not since Ayds diet candy … has a brand faced this type of challenge."

Romney is also taking heat for his tax dodges, which he's defended by saying that his money is in blind trusts. Naturally, Stewart digs up a clip of Romney saying that, "The blind trust is an age-old ruse." ("To the time machine! To retroactively retire that soundbite!") Of course, Romney's ultimate defense is that he followed the law. "And that really is the point," Stewart says. "If you're a so-called job creator in this country—even if the jobs you create are in India and China—you are entitled to wonderful things," like, say, a $77,000 deduction for dressage horse competition expenses. "Yeah. A $77,000 tax break to send your horse to the f(bleep)ing prom!"

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Jul 17, 2012 10:45 AM CDT
Wouldn't retroactive flip flopping using a time machine cause a time paradox? or would things just keep spinning. Maybe we are on the verge of discovering infinite energy.
Jul 17, 2012 9:01 AM CDT
Romney left Bain in1999 to save the Olympics, with the idea that he was going to return to Bain. When time passed and it became evident that he wasn't, he retired dated from the day he actually left and didn't come back. Only a fool would be unable to understand this incredibily complex, hard-to-understand chain of events.
Jul 17, 2012 8:40 AM CDT
I would use it for the lottery and to save Robert F Kennedy. I think America would be different now if he had been president.