Dear Undecided Voters: We Hate You

Timothy Egan wants these 'idiots' to make up their minds

By Kevin Spak,  Newser Staff

Posted Oct 5, 2012 1:33 PM CDT

(Newser) – If you're an undecided voter, it's time to make up your mind. "The rest of us are sick of pretending to care about you, saying nice things about you, doing your damn laundry," writes Timothy Egan in the New York Times. "You are not Solomon, carefully weighing the choices. You're a ditherer. You probably panic at 'paper or plastic' in the supermarket." The political world is intensely studying you, undecided voter. But you're not returning the favor.

A recent Washington Post poll found undecided voters were the least interested in watching the debates. Why would you? You're not interested in knowing if Mitt Romney's tax plan does or doesn't add up, or how effective Barack Obama's stimulus was. For vague, ill-informed reasons, you don't like either, and assume all parties are the same. Of course, if you were paying attention, you'd know that was not true. But "if you'd been paying attention, of course, you wouldn't be undecided." On the bright side, at least you might not be nearly as important as everyone thinks. For reasons why, click here.

If this mirrors your electoral decision-making process, you are likely either uninterested or stupid.   (Shutterstock)
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I’m going to let you in on a little secret, after many years of sitting with you during past presidential debates: we don’t like you. Not because you can’t make up your mind, but because you won’t. - Timothy Egan

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