Not Tonight, Dear, He Has a Headache

More hubbies are low on mojo for emotional reasons: 2 new books
By Neal Colgrass,  Newser Staff
Posted Jan 12, 2008 2:29 PM CST
Two new books offer advice on what women should do when their husband seemingly no longer has the sex drive he used to.   (
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(Newser) – More modern hubbies are dodging sex and not for physical reasons, two new books claim: Husbands have a growing list of emotional reasons for saying no, including being too tired, too angry, or just unexcited by their wives. Yet the 20% of sexless couples surveyed for He's Just Not Up For It Anymore, by Bob Berkowitz and Susan Yager-Berkowitz, say a quiet bed isn't cause for divorce, if the marriage is strong, Newsweek reports.

But the author of The Sex Starved Wife isn't buying it: "I believe that sex and touching is a tie that binds," says Weiner Davis. And she warns that men's inner troubles will only explode behind sexless frustration. The solution? Surprisingly, neither book suggests starting with therapy. Just go for sex, they advise, even if desire isn't there. "Desire often follows arousal," Davis explains, because all men need is a little "jump start."