School Cans Guy Over Moose-Butchering Fantasy
John DeWind claims he was just trying to be funny. He failed.
By Evann Gastaldo, Newser Staff
Posted Jan 24, 2013 12:06 PM CST
Updated Jan 27, 2013 7:58 AM CST
A steady rain fails to deter a bull moose as it feeds along Pt. Woronzof Drive Thursday, Aug. 23, 2012 after turning the corner from Postmark Drive in Anchorage, Alaska.   (THE ANCHORAGE PRESS, THE ALASKA DISPATCH)

(Newser) – This may just be the weirdest story of the week: A Columbia University-trained educator was booted from his volunteer gig at a Brooklyn school because he emailed a female teacher ... about butchering a moose. John DeWind, 64, tells he was just trying to show the teacher an example of one of his assignments, in which students are told to write about everything going wrong, and that he was trying to be funny. But the email, which was apparently an invitation for the woman and her boyfriend to visit his family's Vermont home, came out just plain bizarre:

  • It imagines the teacher and her boyfriend arriving with a box of cookies, only to find DeWind on the porch. "Little to [sic] you know he has recently killed a moose and plans to give you five pounds of moose meat."
  • The imaginary DeWind then, for some reason, thinks the boyfriend is a butcher and "envisages the two men bonding over the carving of the rest of the corpse. How he got the impression your boyfriend was a butcher is not clear, perhaps in a dream, but what is clear is that the encounter is going to be horribly embarrassing for everyone, and things are made no better when John turns on your sister and asks, 'Well surely you know how to carve up an animal.'"
DeWind, who was volunteering as an adviser to the school's literary journal and newspaper, was asked not to return after the teacher reported the email. The school later filed a complaint with the NYPD, claiming DeWind had been sending threatening emails to officials and trespassing at school events.

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Showing 3 of 38 comments
Jan 27, 2013 10:27 PM CST
It does seem a little weird. Fantasizing about bonding via carving up an animal corpse. Yeah, meat is food. But it seems to be that there was something a bit off putting about the nature of this 'fantasy', if you could call it that.
Jan 27, 2013 8:36 AM CST
A dream about butchering moose? Meat facts 101: Animals are butchered for meat. If it's not okay to even dream about it, it's certainly not okay to eat it. This can't be the only reason he was 'fired' from his unpaid position.
Jan 25, 2013 8:20 AM CST
A Møøse ønce bit my Sister. No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush give her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist andstar of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink". We apologise for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible have been sacked. Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti...