School Cans Guy Over Moose-Butchering Fantasy

John DeWind claims he was just trying to be funny. He failed.
By Evann Gastaldo,  Newser Staff
Posted Jan 24, 2013 12:06 PM CST
Updated Jan 27, 2013 7:58 AM CST
A steady rain fails to deter a bull moose as it feeds along Pt. Woronzof Drive Thursday, Aug. 23, 2012 after turning the corner from Postmark Drive in Anchorage, Alaska.   (THE ANCHORAGE PRESS, THE ALASKA DISPATCH)

(Newser) – This may just be the weirdest story of the week: A Columbia University-trained educator was booted from his volunteer gig at a Brooklyn school because he emailed a female teacher ... about butchering a moose. John DeWind, 64, tells he was just trying to show the teacher an example of one of his assignments, in which students are told to write about everything going wrong, and that he was trying to be funny. But the email, which was apparently an invitation for the woman and her boyfriend to visit his family's Vermont home, came out just plain bizarre:

  • It imagines the teacher and her boyfriend arriving with a box of cookies, only to find DeWind on the porch. "Little to [sic] you know he has recently killed a moose and plans to give you five pounds of moose meat."
  • The imaginary DeWind then, for some reason, thinks the boyfriend is a butcher and "envisages the two men bonding over the carving of the rest of the corpse. How he got the impression your boyfriend was a butcher is not clear, perhaps in a dream, but what is clear is that the encounter is going to be horribly embarrassing for everyone, and things are made no better when John turns on your sister and asks, 'Well surely you know how to carve up an animal.'"
DeWind, who was volunteering as an adviser to the school's literary journal and newspaper, was asked not to return after the teacher reported the email. The school later filed a complaint with the NYPD, claiming DeWind had been sending threatening emails to officials and trespassing at school events. (Read more strange stuff stories.)

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