NFL Draft Features Backflipper

Walter Thomas, a remarkably athletic 370-pound 21-year-old who performs backflips in moments of excitement, is generating buzz as the NFL draft approaches.  This despite the fact that Thomas has played in exactly two games in the past two years and was then arrested for conspiracy to commit robbery.

Since then, Thomas has expressed contrition for his past (among other ways, by rapping sorrowfully with his Galveston-based hip-hop group Tre Side) and focused on the draft, where his incredible potential will likely get him picked on the second day.  Said Randy Pippin, his coach at Northwest Mississippi: “The guy is a dadgum Russian gymnast.” (More Walter Thomas stories.)