Obama: Sorry, Joe Biden Is 'Too Young to Be Pope'

President Obama put in his second appearance of his presidency at the Gridiron Club last night, lamenting the not-so-funny consequences of the sequester, his vice president, his administration's weird tiff with Bob Woodward, and more. Highlights, as per Politico, CNN, and the AP:

• On the Woodward ruckus: "Now I know that some folks think we responded to Woodward too aggressively. But hey, when has—can anybody tell me when an administration has ever regretted picking a fight with Bob Woodward? What’s the worst that could happen?"

• On Joe Biden's higher ambitions: “(The) vice president is still ambitious. But let's face it, his age is an issue. Just the other day, I had to take Joe aside and say, ‘Joe, you are way too young to be the pope.'"
• On Hillary Clinton's replacement: "Hillary is a tough act to follow. But John Kerry is doing great so far. He is doing everything he can to ensure continuity. Frankly, though, I think it’s time for him to stop showing up at work in pantsuits. It's a disturbing image.”
• On consequences of the sequester: “My joke writers have been placed on furlough. Of course there is one thing in Washington that didn’t get cut: The length of this dinner. Yet more proof that the sequester makes no sense.”
• Amy Klobuchar on how Obama has aged: "His Secret Service name used to be 'Renegade.' Now it's '50 Shades of Gray.'"
• Bobby Jindal on his own presidential ambitions: "What chance does a skinny guy with a dark complexion have of being elected president?"

(More President Obama stories.)