5 Craziest Crimes of the Week Featuring ... toxic coffee, a psychic By Newser Editors, Newser Staff Posted Jun 14, 2013 8:40 AM CDT 3 comments Comments Another week, more crazy crimes. (©) (Newser) – You know it's a banner week for wacky crimes when both toxic coffee and a psychic are involved. Five of the week's more noteworthy brushes with the law: Doctor Accused of Poisoning Lover With Toxic Coffee: He complained it was sweet. She said she'd added some artificial sweetener. But that wasn't Splenda in his java. Now, a Texas breast cancer oncologist has been charged with aggravated assault. Guy Has Heart Attack While Driving, Gets 3 Tickets: It sounds like a joke: a doctor's note reading, "Please forgive Mr. Langley's tickets due to his unfortunate experience of having a heart attack seconds prior to having his car accident." But no, this note really was delivered to a New Jersey municipal court. Utah Man Says He Raped Woman to 'Save' Her: It's almost too cringe-worthy to report: An alleged rapist told police he did indeed penetrate an unconscious 29-year-old on May 19—in an effort to "save her life." Seriously. Psychic Must Pay $7M Over Very Bad Prediction: A psychic peering into the lives of a Houston couple a few years ago should have seen a future filled with riches. Instead, she labeled them as mass murderers—falsely, as it turns out. Woman Hunts Down Dad's Killer Online, 26 Years Later: The crime clearly didn't happen this week, but it's back in the news, thanks to a determined daughter who, in the words of a police source, "basically solved the case." Click for more weird crimes.