When Jason Collins came out as gay in April, he mentioned having once been engaged to a woman. That woman is Carolyn Moos, herself a former pro basketball player, and today in Cosmopolitan she tells her side of the story. She recalls being immediately attracted to Collins when she met him at Stanford University, particularly pleased that he, at 7 feet, stood taller than her 6-feet-5-inches. But they didn't start dating until after college, and their basketball schedules made it difficult for them to spend much time together during the season. Even so, "we understood each other in a way that others couldn't," Moos writes, recalling one instance when Collins told her she was his "soul mate" and "meant for him."
Finally, after seven years together, Collins proposed in 2008 and they moved in together and started talking about their future family. Then, a year later and just a month before the wedding, he called it off. He offered "no tangible reasons, no explanations" for ending the relationship, Moos writes. Four years later, she finally understood why, when Collins called her to come out as gay. It was the same day his coming-out article appeared, though he didn't mention that to her. Though she empathizes with Collins, Moos says she's still "deeply hurt by him" and his failure to be honest with her earlier. "He's being hailed as a pioneer, but I believe true heroism is a result of being honest with yourself and with those you love." (Meanwhile, with the NBA's summer signing period having started a week ago, Collins still doesn't have a new team, the New York Times reports.)