The latest amazing obituary comes to us from Walter George Bruhl Jr., a Delaware man who wrote his own obit before he died at the age of 80 on Sunday, USA Today reports. It's published in full at the Cape Gazette; here are some of the best lines:
- "He was surrounded by his loving wife of 57 years, Helene Sellers Bruhl, who will now be able to purchase the mink coat which he had always refused her because he believed only minks should wear mink."
- "Walt was preceded in death by his tonsils and adenoids in 1935; a spinal disc in 1974; a large piece of his thyroid gland in 1988; and his prostate on March 27, 2000."
- He chose to join the Marine Corps and serve in the Korean War "because of Hollywood propaganda, to which he succumbed as a child during World War II."
- "There will be no viewing since his wife refuses to honor his request to have him standing in the corner of the room with a glass of Jack Daniels in his hand so he would appear natural to visitors."
- "Cremation will take place at the family's convenience, and his ashes will be kept in an urn until they get tired of having it around. What’s a Grecian Urn? Oh, about 200 drachmas a week."
- "Instead of flowers, Walt would hope that you will do an unexpected and unsolicited act of kindness for some poor unfortunate soul in his name."
Read it in full here
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