Wondering what in the world Paul Simon and his wife of 22 years, fellow musician Edie Brickell, could possibly have done to get arrested on disorderly conduct charges Saturday? Well, the police report is out, and it explains everything: Seems Brickell, 47, confronted Simon, 72, in the music studio at their home. But Simon can't "handle being criticized in any manner" and got "confrontational," Brickell told officers. She says he pushed her, she slapped him in the face, and he called 911, the Stamford Advocate reports. He hung up, but officers responded anyway, and heard the couple "loudly screaming at each other," according to the report.
Brickell smelled strongly of alcohol, the report continues, and implied past fights between the couple may also have gotten physical. The scuffle ended with a superficial cut on Simon's ear and a small bruise on Brickell's wrist, the report says. But the couple insisted at a hearing Monday they aren't a threat to one another, so no limited protective order was issued to keep them away from each other. "We're going to go back home and watch our son play baseball," Simon said during the hearing. "This argument was very atypical of us ... I don't feel I need to be protected from her." Next up, the couple will sit down with a mediator before appearing in court again on May 16. And don't worry about them too much, because they just released a new duet.