Move over, Romeo and Juliet: Texas brings us the tale of star-crossed lover Alicia Walicke, whose boyfriend the AP reports is the current resident of one of the nation's fine penal institutions. Her solution to their separation, as per the cops who busted her Wednesday? Steal a bottle of wine—presumably terrible wine at $3.99—and sit outside the gas station that she had failed to pay aforementioned $3.99 and drink aforementioned wine. When police asked what Walicke was doing, she said she wanted to be arrested so that the pair could be reunited behind bars. Cops obliged, Walicke has been charged with misdemeanor theft, and she's now free on $5,000 bond.