5 Craziest Crimes of the Week
Including a man who stole more meat than you can imagine in his pants
By Newser Editors,  Newser Staff
Posted Oct 3, 2014 5:22 AM CDT
Updated Oct 3, 2014 8:27 AM CDT
Someone's looking for an out.   (Shutterstock)

(Newser) – A woman thrown in jail for leftover pasta sauce and an inmate no one noticed was missing are among the weirdest crime stories of the week:

  • Jail Didn't Know Inmate Escaped for 2 Days: An inmate's escape from a jail north of Seattle went undetected last week—until the man's defense lawyer stopped by for a visit and couldn't find his client. Rhyan Vasquez, 19, is now back in custody in Marysville City Jail and faces a possible escape charge. He managed to slip out thanks, in part, to a ... Bible study class.
  • Man's Cologne Gives Him Away to Cops: Best line in a police report in a while: "Agosto mentioned he regretted applying cologne on his person prior to leaving his house." It comes via police in Lebanon, Ore., in reference to 35-year-old Charles Agosto, who refused to stop after a traffic violation, cops say, leading them on a high-speed chase earlier this week. He actually got away—at least at first. Officers eventually tracked him down in what may have turned out to be a decent hiding spot, had his Eau de Blown Cover not wafted over.

  • Woman Held in Jail for Weeks Over SpaghettiOs Sauce: When Ashley Gabrielle Huff was pulled over by a police officer in Gainesville, Ga., for a tag light violation, the officer immediately thought she was looking and acting a little weird. After finding a spoon in her car with residue on it (and supposedly field-testing it), the officer was convinced it was meth and arrested the 23-year-old. She insisted it was just SpaghettiOs sauce but ended up in jail anyway. Then the truth came out.
  • Guy Accused of Shooting Neighbor's House Gives Bizarre Excuse: George Byrd, a 31-year-old convicted felon, at first told police in Pennsylvania he didn't shoot a bullet through his neighbor's window. But a detective says Byrd not only acknowledged that he did it during his arraignment, but blamed his transgression on his own not-entirely-believable ignorance.
  • Cops: Grocery Worker Lifted $1.2K Worth of Meat in His Pants: Sometimes, a simple plan works best if you're a criminal. And sometimes, that plan to shove $1,200 worth of meat down your pants and walk out of a supermarket undetected doesn't end so well. Police in Cortlandt, NY, have charged Gregory Rodriguez with grand larceny after accusing him of doing just that at the A&P where he works.
Click to read about more crazy crimes, including a photogenic mug shot (well, he tried, anyway) and an arrest for drunk jogging.