With a name like Howard Cocks Dickinson IV, it's no wonder this New Hampshire man's obituary opens with a penis joke. "He walked through heaven's gate 'prick first,' just as he would have wanted," reads the obituary in the Conway Daily Sun. It goes on to inform us that Dickinson "was a lover of hunting, fishing, food, the woods, women, politics, dogs, guns, porn, and last but not least, himself." Did we mention he liked women? The obit also notes, "As he begins his new journey we wish him ... a room full of women with an open bar!"
He's survived by three children—"that we know of," the obituary reads—and it looks like those are the people we have to thank for the delightful remembrance: "Lesson to be learned: Be nice to your children, because they are the ones who hold your hand when you are dying and write your obituary," it concludes. Jim Romenesko spotted the obit and called it "an obit that a junior-high boy would love," noting, "Mr. Dickinson was 78, by the way." (Click for another funny obituary in which the Kardashians play a part.)