Toilet Paper Blunder: 5 Craziest Crimes of Week
Including an outrageously expensive wine heist
By Newser Editors,  Newser Staff
Posted Jan 2, 2015 5:30 AM CST
Updated Jan 2, 2015 9:26 AM CST
Oh, crap—busted.   (Shutterstock)

(Newser) – A sleepy burglary suspect and a tip gleaned from toilet paper are among the weirdest crime stories at the tail end of 2014:

  • Burglary Suspect Curled Up in Odd Place: Nicole Daugherty says she doesn't know how or why she ended up in a stranger's bed last weekend—but she's facing burglary, trespassing, and criminal mischief charges for it. Police responding to a home alarm around 4:15am in Liberty Township, Pa., searched the residence after spotting a broken window, and found Daugherty in a bed inside. She told cops she couldn't recall how she got in—but where she was earlier may clear up some of the confusion.
  • Thieves Grabbed How Much Wine From Famed Restaurant?: Almost $300,000 worth, according to Tom Keller, French Laundry's chef and proprietor in California. The break-in occurred Christmas Day after thieves jimmied open the door to the wine room to collect their loot. Some of the lifted bottles are worth a mind-boggling amount of dough.

  • Toilet Paper Was Smoking Gun in Pizza Robbery: Eric Frey allegedly went to Michael Maria's Pizza in Uniontown, Pa., armed with a toilet paper note that threatened, "I have a gun. Give me $300." He swears he wrote the note because a gunman forced him to do so, but a police search of his home bathroom casts serious doubt on his story.
  • Cops: Deputy Stole From Walmart ... While in Uniform: Authorities in Coral Springs, Fla., caught one of their own allegedly stealing from Walmart ... while the Broward Sheriff's Office detention deputy was clad in his uniform. It all started when Theodore Parrish got caught on surveillance video in the self-checkout lanes.
  • 'Screech' Gets Arrested: Dustin Diamond, known for playing "Screech" on Saved by the Bell, was arrested after a man was stabbed in a Wisconsin bar. (He's OK.) Diamond insists the stabbing happened accidentally as he was defending his girlfriend, and he didn't exactly go to great efforts to hide the weapon afterward.
Click to read about more crazy crimes.