A Sticky Situation: 5 Craziest Crimes of Week
Including a drug-smuggling fail and a bank robbery allegedly done for art's sake
By Jenn Gidman,  Newser Staff
Posted Jan 16, 2015 5:37 AM CST
Updated Jan 16, 2015 9:40 AM CST
You can't stick it to the system and not show up in court—even if you're only 9.   (Shutterstock)

(Newser) – What do you get when you mix together chewing gum, vanilla extract, and lamb chops? A recipe for the weirdest crime stories of the week:

  • Boy, 9, Arrested in Sticky Court Situation: Here's something to chew on: a 9-year-old who was arrested in Idaho for stealing a pack of gum. Or rather, for skipping the court date (twice) at which he would have had to face up to his alleged candy-themed crime. The police chief in Post Falls says he's never seen a "failure to appear" warrant for someone so young, and goes on to explain why the family was a no-show.
  • Woman Caught Driving Drunk on Baking Ingredient: Carolyn Kesel, 46, was pulled over for driving erratically around a Walmart parking lot in Macedon, NY, last week. Her drink of choice, she told police, was two bottles of vanilla extract. She registered a 0.26% on the Breathalyzer; cops explain how that's possible.

  • We're Guessing Cops Were Surprised at Contents of These Trash Bags: It's not on par with Canada's stolen syrup, but Washington state now has a food caper of its own. A sheriff's deputy stopped two men walking down a street in Spokane Valley with heavy-looking garbage bags slung over their shoulders. What they were reportedly filled with: lots of frozen lamb chops. But the chops didn't come from where the men said they did.
  • Ex-Professor Insists Bank Robbery Was for Art Project: An offbeat former professor who has taught at MIT and Bard allegedly robbed a Capital One bank in Manhattan of $1,000 on New Year's Eve (while holding a camcorder) and said he was filming the incident as part of an "art" project. The unemployed Joseph Gibbons, 61, was allegedly using himself as his own subject for his short film Confessions of a Sociopath, Part I. The bank robbery is just the latest in his string of supposedly celluloid-inspired crimes.
  • Jailhouse Smuggling 101: Don't Use Greeting Cards: Someone, somewhere, must be unaware jail officials screen mail before handing it over to inmates. While checking the post at a Virginia jail last week, officials said they came across a homemade card with a very special gift enclosed: heroin. Authorities recently intercepted two other mailed items they believe contained drugs. One of the items definitely held heroin; the contents of the other are TBD.
Click to read about more crazy crimes.