What's in a name? About $32,000 apparently, if you want one that's unique. A new Swiss company called Erfolgswelle offers to create a list of globally unique baby names and pare them down with clients until they pick one, the San Francisco Chronicle reports. "We follow a creation process that takes around 100 hours," company CEO Marc Hauser tells BuzzFeed. For $32,000, copywriters cook up names, historians ensure their uniqueness, translators check they won't offend in any language, and lawyers make sure they aren't trademarked. Then, presto, you get a list from which to choose five favorites. Erfolgswelle will even send your faves to 780 people who pick their faves. Yet "the family is always in charge—they have the rudder in their hands," says Hauser.
Once a favorite is picked (Blue Ivy and Apple are taken, people!) the company writes up a mythology and history of the name. "Based on the elements of the new name, we create a story with a positive message," Hauser says. "That’s why all the parts of the name need a positive message in it." He promises a personal touch, too, telling ABC News that each name must fit "within the family's culture and background." He won't reveal their client list, baby names, or tricks of the trade, but tells the Daily Mail that the name must "roll off the tongue," so, for example, no first name will end "with the same letter that the surname begins with." Little problem: Once the name is out there, anyone can use it. "Alternatively, you could just call the kid Elsa and promise to take her to Disney World when she’s 10," says Metro. (See why parents aren't allowed to name their baby Nutella.)