A Michigan man allegedly tried to sell a backpack full of his dirty socks for $2,800 last month, which under certain circumstances could be be considered a shrewd move. The circumstances here weren't so favorable: The Daily Telegram reports the backpack was supposed to contain a pound of marijuana, and the odd series of events that followed in the wee hours of July 8 led to Michael Suarez pleading guilty to false pretenses on Wednesday. "He brought socks instead of marijuana. That’s the false pretenses," said his lawyer in court. Suarez has been convicted of a felony twice prior, which makes him a habitual offender and means he's looking at as many as 7.5 years in prison.
According to the Telegram, a friend arranged the drug deal between Suarez and another couple at a mobile home park, only Suarez allegedly decided to pull a Walter Sobchak and bring his dirty laundry instead of the drugs. Suarez was accompanied by a second couple, and the three reportedly high-tailed it out of the park, blowing past a stop sign around 1:30am. A cop pulled them over due to their driving, at which point a man (ostensibly half of the socks-buying couple) pulled up and told the officer the trio had just robbed his girlfriend. A purse containing $2,800 was found in the car. Suarez was arrested (an unarmed robbery count will be dismissed), as were the car's two other occupants—married parents of four who said they really did think Suarez had weed. They pleaded guilty to attempted possession of marijuana with the intent to deliver. Suarez will be sentenced Sept. 3.