Zombie Baby: 5 Craziest Crimes of the Week Including an incredibly seasoned jewel thief and a tow that broke the bank By Newser Editors, Newser Staff Posted Oct 30, 2015 5:12 AM CDT Updated Oct 30, 2015 10:28 AM CDT 2 comments Comments Boo! (Twitter) (Newser) – Lots of motor vehicle mishaps in our weirdest crime stories this week: Man Gets Arrested for Alleged Trespassing, but That's Not the Worst Part: Massachusetts resident Joel Ramer was recently arrested for trespassing and disturbing the peace for off-roading on private property. That's probably the least of his worries: His Jeep got stuck in the mud during his adventures, and it took the towing company 12 hours to yank it out. Then Ramer got the bill: $48,000. Here's how they arrived at that figure. Speeding Russian Hearse Full of Illicit Caviar: That's what police in the far eastern corners of the country found when they pulled over the vehicle not far from the Chinese border, the delicacy stashed in plastic containers and hidden underneath a bunch of wreaths lying next to the casket. The driver and his partner insisted they had no idea what was in the casket, either—but the cops quickly found out. 'Jewel Thief Strikes Again' Doesn't Seem Unusual at First Glance: Ten years ago, Doris Payne swore she was done with pilfering jewels. But she's succumbed to temptation several times since, including recently in Atlanta, where she was arrested for allegedly boosting a $690 pair of earrings from Saks. Find out why the 85-year-old (yes, 85) keeps on returning to her life of crime. Plan to Ditch Fake Poker Chips Goes Down the Toilet: Literally. A poker player who brought millions of dollars in counterfeit chips to an Atlantic City tournament panicked when he thought his scheme had been discovered, so he flushed them down the commodes of not one, but two casino-hotels. What happened to the guests who were rooming a floor below him isn't too surprising—though the amount of time he'll be spending in prison is. Scariest HOV Violation Ever: Finally, it's Halloween weekend, so we'd be remiss if we didn't offer something for your nightmares. A Washington trooper pulled over a man in the HOV lane, but his "passenger" didn't exactly make him eligible for the carpool shortcut. It was a zombie baby Halloween decoration, all buckled up for the ride. The driver was handed a not-insignificant ticket, but the cop did give him one break. Click to read about more crazy crimes.