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'It Could Never Happen to Me': NY Wives

Many women in denial about husband's adultery, author says

By Caroline Zimmerman,  Newser User

Posted Mar 16, 2008 4:12 PM CDT

(Newser) – He may have strayed, but prostitutes? No way, say Manhattan wives who reflected on the Eliot Spitzer scandal this week with the New York Times. But "there is a trememdous tendency toward denial" among unsuspecting women, said Leslie Bennetts, author of The Feminine Mistake. “I’ve heard thousands of stories from women who got blindsided by a version of this."

Wives handle the shock better if his infidelity was private, says one New York attorney: “Most women who have a marriage of length have at one time or another tried to get past a private transgression." But the wife of a Wall Street exec said that forgiving his deceit only fueled his arrogance. “Once you feed that dark side, the monster grows," she said—and divorced him a year later, without their children knowing why.

Silda Spitzer, wife of Governor of New York Eliot Spitzer, leaves their Fifth Ave. residence after they returned from a press conference at the governor's New York office Wednesday, March  12,  2008
Silda Spitzer, wife of Governor of New York Eliot Spitzer, leaves their Fifth Ave. residence after they returned from a press conference at the governor's New York office Wednesday, March 12, 2008   (AP Photo/David Karp)
New York State Gov. Eliot Spitzer announces his resignation amid a prostitution scandal as wife Silda looks on Wednesday, March 12, 2008 in his offices in New York City.
New York State Gov. Eliot Spitzer announces his resignation amid a prostitution scandal as wife Silda looks on Wednesday, March 12, 2008 in his offices in New York City.   (Associated Press)
This photo from the Winter 2007 magazine article titled Power Couples and provided by 02138, a publication that focuses on Harvard University alumni, shows Gov. Eliot Spitzer and his wife Silda.
This photo from the Winter 2007 magazine article titled "Power Couples" and provided by 02138, a publication that focuses on Harvard University alumni, shows Gov. Eliot Spitzer and his wife Silda.   (AP Photo/Jake Chessum, 02138)
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