Rejoice! 5 Craziest Crimes of the Week

Including a sugary subway assault and a gluttonous thief
By Jenn Gidman,  Newser Staff
Posted Dec 18, 2015 5:14 AM CST
Updated Dec 18, 2015 8:23 AM CST
Stock photo   (Shutterstock)

(Newser) – A disrupted newscast and a lame hiding place are among the weirdest crime stories of the week:

  • Live TV Report Interrupted by Someone Unexpected: If a reporter is going to cut his segment short, "I need to call 911" is probably a good reason. KIMT journo Adam Sallet was reporting live outside a Rochester, Minn., bank when a bank employee came running out of the building. Among the words Sallet said next: "I gotta go here and call 911. I'll talk to you later."
  • There's Something Strange About This Serial Car Thief: It might seem difficult to discern the thief in a grainy surveillance video, but police didn't have much trouble. After someone made off with an 89-year-old man's vehicle in St. Petersburg, Fla., police arrested a suspect they know pretty well: a 12-year-old who'd been arrested more than 20 times before, mostly for auto theft. Check out how the youngster allegedly fooled the elderly man.

  • Weird Weapon Wielded in Subway Assault: "It was so out of the blue," says the alleged victim of a very strange assault. "All of a sudden he shoved it into my face, and in my mouth. It was kind of a face punch of sorts, but with a candy bar." The speaker is Brooklyn artist Ian Sklarsky—currently nursing a black eye, bruised nose, and split lips—and the assault weapon was this kind of candy bar.
  • Thief Hides in Restaurant, Eats Unbelievable Feast: Six 11-pound geese, 13 pounds of goose fat and liver, three ducks, a 1-gallon jar of pickles, butter, and a package of poppy seeds. These are the food items sampled by an alleged thief, accused of hiding in a restaurant in the Czech Republic at closing time and dining like a king overnight. He even planned on taking some victuals on the road with him—if his plan hadn't been foiled.
  • Behold Your Early Christmas Present: A suspected drunk driver in the UK reportedly slammed his Mini Cooper into a metal barrier in Yorkshire, then fled the scene. But cops soon found him about 220 yards away, seeking sanctuary in a most unusual hideout. Let's just say he's not one of the three wise men. The wordplay and puns are endless. And ... begin!
Click to read about more crazy crimes. (Read more weird crimes stories.)

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