Rejoice! 5 Craziest Crimes of the Week Including a sugary subway assault and a gluttonous thief By Jenn Gidman, Newser Staff Posted Dec 18, 2015 5:14 AM CST Updated Dec 18, 2015 8:23 AM CST 0 comments Comments Stock photo (Shutterstock) (Newser) – A disrupted newscast and a lame hiding place are among the weirdest crime stories of the week: Live TV Report Interrupted by Someone Unexpected: If a reporter is going to cut his segment short, "I need to call 911" is probably a good reason. KIMT journo Adam Sallet was reporting live outside a Rochester, Minn., bank when a bank employee came running out of the building. Among the words Sallet said next: "I gotta go here and call 911. I'll talk to you later." There's Something Strange About This Serial Car Thief: It might seem difficult to discern the thief in a grainy surveillance video, but police didn't have much trouble. After someone made off with an 89-year-old man's vehicle in St. Petersburg, Fla., police arrested a suspect they know pretty well: a 12-year-old who'd been arrested more than 20 times before, mostly for auto theft. Check out how the youngster allegedly fooled the elderly man. Weird Weapon Wielded in Subway Assault: "It was so out of the blue," says the alleged victim of a very strange assault. "All of a sudden he shoved it into my face, and in my mouth. It was kind of a face punch of sorts, but with a candy bar." The speaker is Brooklyn artist Ian Sklarsky—currently nursing a black eye, bruised nose, and split lips—and the assault weapon was this kind of candy bar. Thief Hides in Restaurant, Eats Unbelievable Feast: Six 11-pound geese, 13 pounds of goose fat and liver, three ducks, a 1-gallon jar of pickles, butter, and a package of poppy seeds. These are the food items sampled by an alleged thief, accused of hiding in a restaurant in the Czech Republic at closing time and dining like a king overnight. He even planned on taking some victuals on the road with him—if his plan hadn't been foiled. Behold Your Early Christmas Present: A suspected drunk driver in the UK reportedly slammed his Mini Cooper into a metal barrier in Yorkshire, then fled the scene. But cops soon found him about 220 yards away, seeking sanctuary in a most unusual hideout. Let's just say he's not one of the three wise men. The wordplay and puns are endless. And ... begin! Click to read about more crazy crimes.