Late-Night Hosts 'Don't Believe Trump Can Run'
Stephen Colbert wonders if he would 'stab them with bone spurs'
By Rob Quinn,  Newser Staff
Posted Feb 27, 2018 6:03 AM CST

(Newser) – President Trump's claim that if he'd been present at the Parkland school shooting, he'd have "run in there even if I didn't have a weapon" met with deep skepticism from the nation's late-night hosts Monday, as did his suggestion of arming the teachers with a "natural talent" for shooting. Three hosts made the same joke about not believing that Trump can run anywhere, let alone into a school shooting. More:

  • Stephen Colbert. "There's a lot in there that I doubt, but the part that I really don’t believe is that he can run," Colbert said. "Sir, we already know how you react to combat situations. You got five deferments from Vietnam. What are you going to do, run in there and stab them with your bone spurs?" Colbert suggested Trump make his "fantasy world" more interesting by imagining how he might have defeated the shooter with "laser-beam eyes" before flying back to "space Mar-a-Lago," the Washington Post reports.

  • Seth Meyers. The Late Night host said he didn't " believe Trump would run anywhere, let alone into a school shooting" and mocked his plan to arm teachers. "This is one of the worst things about having Trump as president," he said. “Every time he goes on TV and blurts the dumbest things in the world, the rest of us have to debate it like it’s a real idea," Meyers said, per Entertainment Weekly. "He says, 'Hey, I think we should take incredibly stressed out people who make $30,000 a year and give them guns,' and then Wolf Blitzer has to stand there and go, 'F---, well, let's ask the panel.'"
  • Trevor Noah. The Daily Show host played "devil's advocate" by suggesting Trump could have stopped the shooting just by being Trump, the Hollywood Reporter notes. "Imagine you’re a school shooter and Donald Trump appears in the hallway. How distracting would that be?" Noah said. He added that in reality, the statement "would be ridiculous coming from anyone, but especially from Trump. He's gonna run in? Yo, when Trump ran for president, that was the first time he ran in his entire life."
  • Jimmy Fallon. The Tonight Show host praised the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School survivors for "speaking out with more guts, passion, conviction and common sense than most adults," Mashable reports. He said he would be joining them at the March 24 March for Our Lives protest in Washington, DC. "I stand behind you guys, and I will be marching alongside you with my wife and two children in DC to show our support."

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