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November 22, 2008 1:05:00 CST

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How to Avoid R. Kelly Jury Duty

Posted May 16, 08 2:33 PM CDT in Crime & Courts 

(Newser) – R. Kelly's jury is complete, and the arduous process of getting it filled contains a lesson: Should you ever be called upon to weigh in at a child pornography trial, the Chicago Tribune offers some proven ways—at least they worked in this case— to avoid getting trapped in the jury box:

  1. Mention your teenage daughter.
  2. Argue the age of consent is too high.
  3. Explain that you're a doctor with lives to save.

  1. Stutter when asked if you can give Kelly a fair trial.
  2. Say you're a cop.
  3. Sing Kelly's praises.
  4. Look too eager to serve in a tabloid trial.
  5. Have a lawyer coach you on all the wrong answers.
  6. Fret about your wedding plans.
  7. Sue or get sued.
  8. Have your mother claim you're mentally ill.
  9. Blame Kelly for 9/11.

Source Chicago Tribune

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R. Kelly performs at Philips Arena in Atlanta, Nov. 15, 2007. (AP Photo/John Bazemore)   (AP Photo/John Bazemore)
Singer R. Kelly with a bodyguard after the first day of jury selection in his child pornography trial at the Cook County Criminal Courthouse in Chicago on May 9, 2008. (AP Photo/Nam Y. Huh/file)   (AP Photo)
Singer R. Kelly arrives for the first day of jury selection in his child pornography trial at the Cook County Criminal Courthouse in Chicago, May 9, 2008. (AP Photo/Charles Rex Arbogast)   (AP Photo/Charles Rex Arbogast)
Singer R. Kelly with a bodyguard after the first day of jury selection in his child pornography trial at the Cook County Criminal Courthouse in Chicago on May 9, 2008. (AP Photo/Nam Y. Huh/file)   (AP Photo)
An unidentified fan of singer R. Kelly waits for his arrival for the first day of jury selection in his child pornography trial at the Cook County Criminal Courthouse in Chicago, May. 9, 2000. (AP Photo/Nam...   (AP Photo/Nam Y. Huh)
Two men protest outside the Cook County Criminal Courthouse on the first day of jury selection for R.Kelly's child pornography trial in Chicago, May 9, 2008. (AP Photo/Nam Y. Huh)   (AP Photo/Nam Y. Huh)
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list • music • sex scandal • celebrity trials • sex tape • R. Kelly • Chicago Tribune • jury selection


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