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Why Dodge Drivers Totally Suck

Rams are the new Harleys, thanks to low sales

By Drew Nelles,  Newser Staff

Posted Jun 25, 2008 11:46 AM CDT

(Newser) – Of all the rules of the road, there is one cardinal, hands-down, no-exceptions tenet: “The guy who ignores the stop sign, who blasts past me in a no-passing zone, who plays chicken on a potholed strip of county two-lane, drives a Ram,” Benjamin Percy writes in Esquire. Dodge may be dead last in truck sales, but that doesn't dampen a Ram driver's spirit: It only gets him going.

“Driving a Dodge means what it used to mean to drive a Harley,” writes Percy, who inherited a thing for the trucks, and aggression that goes with it,  from his  father, “before all the lawyers and dentists bought leather and took to the open road.” On long trips, Dad even  kept his .357 balanced on the console. "When I once asked him why, he said, 'You never know.' "

A 2007 Ram 3500 pickup truck. Dodge drivers are assholes, Benjamin Percy writes in Esquire.
A 2007 Ram 3500 pickup truck. Dodge drivers are assholes, Benjamin Percy writes in Esquire.   (AP Photo/David Zalubowski)
Dodge Ram 1500 pickup trucks are shown on a dealership new vehicle lot in Detroit.
Dodge Ram 1500 pickup trucks are shown on a dealership new vehicle lot in Detroit.   (AP Photo/Paul Sancya)
The company logo shines off the nose of an unsold 2007 Charger at a Dodge dealership in the southeast Denver suburb of Centennial, Colo.
The company logo shines off the nose of an unsold 2007 Charger at a Dodge dealership in the southeast Denver suburb of Centennial, Colo.   (AP Photo/David Zalubowski)
Sun gleams off the chrome of the grille on an unsold 2007 Ram 1500 pickup truck on the lot of a Dodge agency in the south Denver suburb of Littleton, Colo.
Sun gleams off the chrome of the grille on an unsold 2007 Ram 1500 pickup truck on the lot of a Dodge agency in the south Denver suburb of Littleton, Colo.   (AP Photo/David Zalubowski)
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COMMENTS
Showing 2 of 2 comments
Patrickthe13th
Nov 19, 2010 7:26 PM CST
I completely agree. I drive a Hyundai Accent that gets good gas mileage (because I care what kind of planet my great, great, great, great, great grandchildren are going to live on), and I have to sit in traffic next to assholes in their Dodge Ram pick-ups with their loud obnoxious exhaust pipes, and their American flag stickers, knowing that if I look over, I'll see a douche bag with a buzz cut and a goatee behind the wheel. The "I'M AMERICAN AND FUCK YOU!!!" mentality that lies within their MLB clouded mind says not more than "I'm uneducated, I'm angry because being angry is the only way to outwardly prove you're straight...CAUSE I'M NOT GAY, and I'm way off on what it means to be a good American". I hate Dodge and the conservative party. They are like one.
Patrickthe13th
Nov 19, 2010 7:17 PM CST
I completely agree. I drive a Hyundai Accent, a little thing that gets good gas mileage, because I believe that being a good American (I hate that term) or just a good person means caring what the planet that your great, great, great grandchildren are going to live on will be like. Some of the "I'M AMERICAN SO FUCK YOU!!!" jerks that you see with their N.R.A. endorsement stickers and American flags all over their "Patriotic" Dodge Ram say not more than "I'm uneducated, close minded, and have completely misinterpreted what being an American is all about".

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