Beer: Cause of, and Solution to, Civilization

Recently, Investor’s Business Daily had the effrontery to suggest that Americans might cut down on beer “and other non-essential items.” It was a statement that sent Washington Post columnist George F. Will into a frothy rage. Beer is completely essential—without it civilization as we know might not exist. Early urbanites had just one respite from waterborne illness, he notes: Beer.

People at beaches and ballparks this summer have plenty of clean water, of course, but they’re descended from those early town dwellers, who usually wouldn’t survive long if they couldn’t hold their liquor. This led alcohol-friendly genes to become dominant—we have literally evolved into beer drinkers. So raise a glass, Investor’s Business Daily. As Ben Franklin said, “Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” (More beer stories.)