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George W. Bush: Motivational Speaker

The Decider knows how to put a sunny spin on anything!

By Kevin Spak,  Newser Staff

Posted Aug 15, 2008 12:13 PM CDT

(Newser) – “There are many things George W. Bush should do after his presidency,” writes Joel Stein of the LA Times, “most of which involve apologizing.” But since that’s not the Decider’s style, Stein has another career suggestion: motivational speaker. No one knows how to look on the bright side like Bush—Iraq is boffo, the economy sturdy, and 9/11 recovery just called for a little shopping spree. Here are some folks in need of mindless optimism:

  • Polar bears: Scientists are converging on the North Pole—why not eat some?
  • Yahoo guys: Definitely winning the war on Google.
  • Journalists: Who needs newspapers when you have Fox News?
  • Georgians: Know what’s better than being in NATO? Being in NATO and Russia!
  • Aaron Rogers: Don’t worry, Green Bay loves quarterbacks!
  • John McCain: Hey, we’re in the same party. What could possibly go wrong?

US President George W. Bush holds a U.S. flag as he watches the swimming competitions in the National Aquatics Center at the Beijing 2008 Olympics in Beijing, Monday, Aug. 11, 2008.
US President George W. Bush holds a U.S. flag as he watches the swimming competitions in the National Aquatics Center at the Beijing 2008 Olympics in Beijing, Monday, Aug. 11, 2008.   (AP Photo/Greg Baker)
George Bush waves an American flag as the US Olympic team marched past during the Beijing 2008 Summer Olympics opening ceremony in Beijing, Friday, Aug. 8, 2008.
George Bush waves an American flag as the US Olympic team marched past during the Beijing 2008 Summer Olympics opening ceremony in Beijing, Friday, Aug. 8, 2008.   (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak, pool)
U.S. President George W. Bush gestures as he talks with China's Premier Wen Jiabao at the Zhongnanhai Compound in Beijing, Sunday, Aug. 10, 2008.
U.S. President George W. Bush gestures as he talks with China's Premier Wen Jiabao at the Zhongnanhai Compound in Beijing, Sunday, Aug. 10, 2008.   (AP Photo/Jason Lee, Pool)
George W. Bush watches the swimming competitions in the National Aquatics Center at the Beijing 2008 Olympics in Beijing, Sunday, Aug. 10, 2008.
George W. Bush watches the swimming competitions in the National Aquatics Center at the Beijing 2008 Olympics in Beijing, Sunday, Aug. 10, 2008.   (AP Photo/Thomas Kienzle)
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I've never seen anyone
throw pompoms at disaster
as well as Bush. - Joel Stein

There are many things George W. Bush should do after his presidency, most of which involve apologizing. - Joel Stein

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