Chinese Adoption: Anguish Along With Joy

One woman's reflections on life with her adopted daughter
By Drew Nelles,  Newser Staff
Posted Aug 19, 2008 12:46 PM CDT
Nancy Becker and Pam Derderian, right, enjoy a moment with daughter Kali on April 22, 2002, in their Whitemarsh Township, Pennsylvania, home. The couple adopted Kali from China.   (KRT Photos)
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(Newser) – A proud but troubled mother of an adopted Chinese girl is wondering how to cope. Diane Clehane grieves for the woman who was forced to give up little Madeline under China's "one child" policy, she writes in Vanity Fair. She also wonders how to explain it to Madeline without making her sad for her parents. "It was impossible to ignore the fact that I was getting a daughter because someone had been forced to give her up," she writes.

Praise the brave parents, one adoptive mom advised her; another said to duck the issue. Still unsure, Clehane was stung by China's Olympic opening ceremonies. “I want to raise my daughter to be proud of her heritage, but I can’t help but think that she is not from this modern, telegenic China,” Clehane writes. “She is from a China most of the world will never see.”