How You Know It's a Crisis: Oprah Is Bailer-Out-in-Chief

Culture11 lists top changes to look for in our new economy
By Kate Seamons,  Newser Staff
Posted Sep 22, 2008 6:17 PM CDT
No. 4: Hipsters swap PBR for ethanol.   ((c) Orin Optiglot)
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(Newser) – How the Wall Street meltdown will affect our day-to-day existence, per Culture11:

  • Nation's emergency lender: Oprah.
  • Living in sin now OK; sharing a sleeping bag in tent city is new social scourge.
  • Cloning approved to allow for mass creation of Alan Greenspans.
  • Hipsters downgrade their booze from PBR to ethanol.

  • Harvard still drowning in cash; alums defy sense, continue to give.
  • New corporate speaking star: the suddenly relevant MC Hammer.
  • National Geographic deems color photos too happy, goes black and white.
  • As 'burbs turn to slums, Starbucks adds in-store check-cashing.
  • Updated Monopoly game demands $200 gas surcharge for passing Go.
  • Ben Bernanke's bathroom reading? Ron Paul position papers
  • 7-Eleven ATMs now our most viable financial institution.